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A deep cold emptiness and hopelessness seem to have swept over me today. I started to hyperventilate and then tears start to pour out of my eyes as I looked thru my teary eyes at the distorted image of the brightened night sky in these unusually long summer days here in Melbourne. My roommate has left my apartment, he was here when I first came here, and he was someone I could count on, mentally and emotionally, but now his gone, leaving a gaping empty hole of wat was his room, like the hole in my heart left by my significant other a month back. Yes, a truth seemed to dawn on me at that moment. None of the people around us would be by us forever, people come, people leave and we are constantly closing chapters after chapters of our lives. I hate that, I hate it when things end, it makes me feel like I’m dying, like a little part of me dies everytime something ends and as i move on… to the next chapter, of my so called life. I still remember the end of Sec School, which i got totally lost for the very first time, chose poly instead of JC which I regret till this day. Then there was the end of BMT, and then the end of NS. There was also the day when I left everything behind to come to Melbourne for my last try of making something of my life. Sometimes I wonder why u hated things, and never really cherished what u were having till it ends and there u are missing it.

I forgot where i heard this theory of heaven that really appealed to me.
It said that when u die, u will go to the most happy time u have ever had in your life, and stay there for eternity. Its wonderful isnt it? Have any of you ever felt a moment of true happiness, where for tat moment everything seemed perfect?
The air, the people around you, the sounds and…..well….everything seemed perfect? And in that moment u felt true happiness, but it was only to last a moment, and then things wasn’t as perfect again, like everything in life, nothing is really perfect. But maybe, just maybe, when we die, we go to that perfect time and space that u have experienced and be there, for eternity…….and u will be in perfect happiness for eternity. Sounds so good don’t u think?

Hmm…………..well…… I cant think of anything more to say………so thats it for now……

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 8th, 2005 at 11:20 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.